For Parents & Loved Ones
Guidance for parents, partners, and loved ones supporting someone with a BFRB.
Supporting someone with a BFRB can feel confusing, emotional, and overwhelming at times. Many parents and loved ones want to help, but aren’t always sure what to say, what to avoid, or where to begin.
BFRBs often carry significant shame and isolation. Supportive, informed responses from loved ones can make a meaningful difference.
These resources are designed to help parents, partners, and loved ones better understand BFRBs, reduce shame, and support recovery in a compassionate and informed way.
Start Here: Supporting Someone with a BFRB
This video offers a helpful introduction to understanding BFRBs and supporting a loved one without adding pressure or shame.
A helpful introduction for parents and loved ones new to BFRBs.
What Helps
Learn about BFRBs
Understanding the behavior can reduce fear, blame, and frustration.
Ask what kind of help is wanted
Support looks different for everyone. Ask what feels helpful and what does not.
Support without policing
Frequent reminders to stop can increase stress, shame, and secrecy.
Praise effort, not perfection
Focus on strategy use, problem-solving, and small steps forward.
What Usually Doesn’t Help
Being the hair or skin police
Calling attention to the behavior can increase shame.
Punishment or criticism
BFRBs are not caused by laziness or lack of willpower.
Focusing on appearance
Comments about damage, regrowth, or healing can increase pressure.
Making it the center of every conversation
Your loved one is more than their BFRB.
Supporting someone with a BFRB can take patience, compassion, and time. Small changes in understanding and communication can make a meaningful difference.